I arrived in Tokyo a few hours ago. I’m here all week to discuss the future of our successful Japanese website. It’s my first time here and I went straight from the Narita airport to my Hotel in the Shinjuku area so I have only been here for a short period of time. That doesn’t stop me from verifying some things I’ve been hearing about.

Everything is freakishly clean and there’s no garbage bin to be found.
Yes, it’s clean alright. I bought an apple at the airport (save bet as a vegetarian) and I couldn’t find a place to dispose it.

People line up in straight lines before the subway, even when it’s packed.
They sure do. They even line up exactly where the doors are going to be. Impressive.

Subway stations are insanely big and busy
I’ve seen worse. But hey, I’m from Europe where people don’t line up.

Everybody is texting non-stop
Pretty much. Or they’re reading.

The toiled doubles as a female masturbation device
Ehhhh, yes it does. Email me for details.